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Sex and Back Pain
Sex is supposed to be pleasurable for both of you and the fear of
hurting yourself or your partner inhibits the spontaneous joy that
you probably felt before your back pain developed. But what can you
do about it? Most couples in which one or the other is restricted
by back pain will eventually get around to realizing that back pain
does not automatically mean no more sex. What it does mean is that
you will need to make some accommodations to the pain and or the
fear of it. It also means you will need Let’s back up for a second and begin with a very strong suggestion. Because pain has both a psychological component and a physical component, getting a sound diagnosis is critical to putting your mind at rest about what is wrong and secondly having a sound diagnosis will also give you guidelines for your physical limitations. Secondly, after you have the diagnosis, involve the doctor or physical therapist in a frank discussion about dos and don’ts. Maybe that’s an uncomfortable subject for you, but these days we are talking more openly about sex and you should tap into the doctor’s experience here. In a perfect world the doctor would open the discussion for you, but if they don’t you may have to initiate it. Ideally your partner should be present because he or she will have his or her own questions and concerns. Starting off right To start sex off right, start off with a massage, or ice down the painful area. A warm shower together might help too. That way the muscles are relaxed. Positions Here are some sexual positions that can help you enjoy a pain-free experience. For males:
1. Lay on a firm surface and use pillows to support your knees and
head. You might like to try placing a small rolled towel under your
lower back. For females:
1. Try missionary position with the legs bent toward the chest. Remember, the health of your back is dependent on many dynamic factors. Your symptoms may change over time so you may need to work with your health care provider from time to time as you go through the many stages of recovery. A word of caution is in order at this point. It is pretty common to begin feeling better and then overdo it and have your back pain symptoms flair up. We call this, the whoopee effect and it can happen to anyone. Just remember that as you improve gradually, so should your activity level also increase gradually. As I mentioned earlier pain has two parts. There is the physical part. This is the actual stimulation of the nerve, like a painful tooth or a herniated disc pressing on the nerve. And then there is the subjective or the psychological part. This is how it feels to you and includes, among other things, such attitudes as fear that it will get worse or last forever, what will it means to be chronically disabled, and what you believe your partner thinks about it as well as how you are coping with your condition. So, at the top of your agenda there needs to be a frank discussion of your pain limitations and expectations about sex. It is a mistake to believe that your partner understands what it feels like. It is your responsibility to communicate those limitations as clearly as possible; it is their responsibility to listen and try to understand. Pain, after all, is invisible and subjective. That means your pain is unique to you. We have heard people liken back pain to everything from a hot poker going down one or both legs to a chronic aching sensation localized to the lumbar area. It doesn’t matter what words you use, just try to explain the pain, what causes it (position, certain movements, or whatever), and what feels good or is what is comfortable for you. Is it obvious that if it hurts, don’t do it is generally good advice but some positions and techniques hurt more than others? It may require some gentle experimentation to find out what works but as in most sex advice, “gentle” is the best place to start. In terms of maximizing yours and your partner’s sexual pleasure, it is very important to stress that all you really need is your imagination and the willingness to experiment to open up new areas of intimacy. But it all begins with willingness to try. And given that, you just may find that the lemon of back pain can be turned into the lemonade of new sources of mutual pleasure.
For more information on Back Pain and how to treat it
effectively, read the latest back Pain Advisory from The Healthy Back
Institute at
Free Back Pain Advisory & Audio From Jesse Cannone
Visit this link to request your free copy. Did You Know... Over 341,000 People in Over 100 Countries Around The World Have Greatly Improved Their Lives Using The Information Covered In This Advisory...
Jesse Cannone's Web site Lose The Back Pain System When your muscles are out of balance they pull your bones and joints out of their normal position and this places your muscles, bones and joints under constant stress and uneven pressure. By following the proper sequence of exercises and stretches based on your particular problem, you can cure these imbalances and eliminate your back pain for good. Learn More About the Lose The Back Pain System
Return to the Jesse Cannone Author Page Return to the Fitness Atlantic Authors Page
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Back pain and sex don’t go together very well and if you or your
partner are among the 35 million people who have back pain, you know
that back pain can disrupt your relationship. Sex is an important
part of the intimacy between couples, and attitudes about sex, about
rejection and about our self-image when we don’t feel up to a sexual
encounter can haunt a couple for a long time.
FITNESS ATLANTIC 2011
CLASS OF 2011 SHOW REPORT
